Parenthood, or motherhood, to be specific is not a field trip. It is not an event or an occasion where you can drop out in case the going gets tough. It is not a 9-5 job for it's a 24/7 job. Yes, motherhood is a job sans the pay. As a matter of fact motherhood leaves you short of money! There is no one book that you can read to prepare you for motherhood. There is no one person you can ask to answer all your questions regarding parenting.
I was so excited when I learned that I was pregnant with my first child. I was thinking that my baby would be perfect in all ways. Beautiful. Behaved. No wetting or crying. Be able to mix her own formula and maybe pay for her living expenses. Be able to teach herself how to read and basically take care of herself while I bask at the side line thinking how lucky I am to get such a child. Then I woke up! Motherhood might just be the hardest and most fulfilling, never-ending job in the world. There were nights ( and days) I cried out of sheer frustration - mad at hubby, mad at in-laws, mad at myself, mad at my neighbor, mad at the world. There were days ( and nights) that I felt I was on top of the world - sweet with hubby, tolerant of in-laws, happy with myself, lots of money. Motherhood was the time I first associated "mental disorder" to my persona. I was happy. I was sad. I was angry. I was fearful. I was worried. I was demented.
I am a mother, five times over.
I was so excited when I learned that I was pregnant with my first child. I was thinking that my baby would be perfect in all ways. Beautiful. Behaved. No wetting or crying. Be able to mix her own formula and maybe pay for her living expenses. Be able to teach herself how to read and basically take care of herself while I bask at the side line thinking how lucky I am to get such a child. Then I woke up! Motherhood might just be the hardest and most fulfilling, never-ending job in the world. There were nights ( and days) I cried out of sheer frustration - mad at hubby, mad at in-laws, mad at myself, mad at my neighbor, mad at the world. There were days ( and nights) that I felt I was on top of the world - sweet with hubby, tolerant of in-laws, happy with myself, lots of money. Motherhood was the time I first associated "mental disorder" to my persona. I was happy. I was sad. I was angry. I was fearful. I was worried. I was demented.
I am a mother, five times over.
I'm finally reading what I feel! Those are the exact words to describe how I am today being a young mom/wife and all that. At times I am tolerant...but at times I get too tired too and get mad and beeetcchhy.. hehhee..
ReplyDeletehi renz: you have a loooooooong way to go!. but don't worry, you'll survive and actually enjoy the ride.=)
ReplyDeleteLike Renz, I feel the same way too! Motherhood really is not easy at first, but.... then eventually, you'll learn to love it... Like my situation now.. I cried non stop during the first 3 months of having our little boy...But now, I enjoy every minute of it, inspite of the fact that my boy is " raging bull" lol...Well, Dana is also a hands on Daddy, so that helps alot too!
ReplyDeleteI recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
ReplyDeleteBetty
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