Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I first saw, rather, heard him vocalizing. Some tenor with a real piercing voice was making some unsuspecting passersby do a double take and gawk at him by the door of the UP Madrigal Singers practice room. Gosh! He was terribly good looking. Fair with rosy cheeks and lips, longish-brownish hair, beautiful almond-shaped eyes... gorgeous!I stopped by the door to have a look at the person vocalizing. He stopped vocalizing when he saw me too.(Must have been stupefied by my beauty!) To cut a long story short it was actually "love at first sight...err... heard".

My 16-year-old inexperience must have been naive and insecure to his 22-year-old experience. Nevertheless, our relationship thrived for more than a year. That was a year of awakening for me. I learned so many things from him. I met so many "music" people through him. We were inseparable. I used to play the piano for him so he could practice his songs. I watched their concerts and every time I do I fell madly in love with him all over again. The head of the UP Madz did not like me. I was actually endorsed by my voice teacher to her but she refused to even audition. She found me exceedingly juvenile and made no secrets about it. His mom did not like me either. I think she found me too demanding of her son's attention.

I found myself, with my Tya Liling, watching Operas like Madame Butterfly at the CCP to see him. He had made arrangements with the stage hand to open the side door during intermissions so we could meet and hug. Those were such wonderful days. He was becoming one of the Philippine's top tenors and offers were coming in left and right. One day he said that he has been invited by the School of Holy Spirit to play the part of Nanki-Poo in its adaptation of The Mikado. For almost a month we barely saw each other. I was so agitated and pissed that we ended up quarreling every time we saw each other. His mother heard about the fights. The conductress of the UP Madz heard about it. Every freaking one in the UP College of Music heard about it. It was to may detriment that I threw books and stuff whenever I was angry. Maybe her got tired of picking up my mess.

The day of reckoning came. He was supposed to pick me up after a class but he did not come. Technology then was a far cry from today. It was hard to locate "missing" persons more so if the "missing" person refused to be found. I finally got it. WE were over. The hard part was when both of our singing groups performed at the Folk Arts Theater for a series of Christmas presentations. I was devastated. At the young age of almost 18, I experienced a gut-wrenching broken heart.

I quit the UP Concert Chorus. I quit my dream of being a choral conductor. I quit my Bachelor of Music course. Although he was from the College of MassCom, I didn't think I could handle seeing his face and feeling his presence everywhere. Boba! I should have not! Anyway, what's done is done. No regrets... oh yes there were... but hey! That's life.

It took me years to recover from that heart break. I never knew what happened to him... until the internet. Yey! He now lives in California and is married to a M**i*da. He is active in his parochial church. I don't think he has kids. Haha! His lost as I have five! Thanks to People Finders and Email finders, I was able to nail his email address. I emailed him for the "sake" of "art". He did not reply although my software notified me that he did open the email. Gosh!

Raoul Baretto Raymundo! Haven't you recovered yet?! I know that I was your first true love too but.... Life Goes On....


My online buddy Huling said she Googled the name and came up with nothing. Well, I searched real hard this time and learned that there is a M*r* and a M*li*s* related to him too. His children perhaps? I even got directions going to his house. What the crap!? I even found his daughter in fb! How did I know it was his daughter? I just checked all her contacts and found some familiar surnames way back UP days. LOL . I even found a sister of his, some nephews and nieces and his parents in facebook!!! Gosh! His mom is 78 years old and still doing fb! I know... I know.... I'm such a great stalker!

Posted by desperateblogger On 2/25/2009 07:57:00 AM 14 comments


  1. I find this post sweet. I am a hopeless romantic and even if you did not have a happy ending with your first true love at least you have the memories. I just hope he was more mature about the email considering you both are older and, well, it was the past.

  2. LOL...talagang isinulat ang buong pangalan google ko tuloy...kaso walang results....

    "..stupefied by my beauty"....naging bato ba?


  3. @ poray: yes, how i wish he was more mature about the email. i should be the one feeling "bad", not him. i'd like to think that he still felt foolish and guilty about what he has done OR! he's still regretting the fact that he left me. =)

    @ huling: ay sa totoo lang... tandang tanda ko pa hitsura nya ng makita nya ako... natulala sa beauty ko.. as in nakanganga! lol

  4. i feel dazed...parang na fefeel ko ung na feel ni MAng Raoul...

    ay you throw books pala pag galit ka hehehehhe..kakatakyut!

  5. ms lena, paturo naman mag-cyberstalk! hehe!

    pero kumusta naman yung i-post yung buong pangalan? hahahaha

  6. @ renz: hindi ko gets e. ano ba ang "feeling" ni raoul? si-raoul-o sya! lol

    wala na kong tantrums... hindi nako nagtatapon ng stuff =)

    @ eMz: i'm just waiting for someone to react to the full name. anong malay natin kung may cyberstalker din ako. madali lang mag-stalk. jan ako expert mapa actual or internet...

  7. stalker ang dating. pero may hinahanap din ako tao. pano nga ba? i saw him sa friendster pero that's it. wala naman info dun. i wanna know kung san na sya. turuan mo naman ako sa mga finder finder na yan...

  8. @ cherry: text me the name and age and last known address.

  9. ako din i did google...hehehe. wala ding lumabas.

    super stalker ka nga :)

    buti asawa mo walang ka alam alam sa blog mo. kung hindi patay ka :) mine hindi pwedeng isulat at mabubuking ako :)

  10. Ha I wonder if Troy would mind me posting my past lovelife? Siguro pag matagal na kaming kasal pwede na...

    Hinanap ko din tuloy ung pers lab ko pero sa fwenster ko lang nakita eh naka private pa grrr...

  11. @ shiela and renz: oy mga luka-luka, make sure hindi pikon mga asawa nyo.OR! kung maghahanap kayo ng mga Xs nyo, make sure you delete your browser's history.

  12. Aha! Nag google ka na naman? Kaya siguro walang lumabas eh kasi di ko naman alam ginagawa ko...hahaha. Ako din nag go google ng mga nakaraan kaso yung iba eh hindi taga Pilipinas so ang hirap i decipher who's who...ay naku...ano ba 'tong inumpisahan mo. I'm sure madami kaming nag go google ng mga nakaraan....hahahaha....

  13. sa mga nag go-Google ng mga nakaraan nila... it's better to google people finder - then look up the name of your past.

  14. hahaha. nagsunuran na sa paghahanap ng impormasyon tungkol sa mga nakaraan.


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