Massage Message

This massage chair we saw at ATC is 380,000 Php. That's 10,857 massages at 350 Php per massage. It will take you 208 years of weekly sessions to use up. Make it a bi-weekly session and you save a century of your time.

There is a proliferation of (legitimate-no hankypanky) massage parlors or what we commonly know now as health spas or saunas (?) I remember when the only (quite) legitimate massage center then was in Quezon Ave. Then again, the establishment could have been offering illicit sexual services under the guise of therapeutic massage. That I do not know and I will not be sued for libel since I did not mention the name of the massage parlor. Can be I sued for insuniating?

Anyway, now we have the spas. Just what is a spa? Here are the most relevant meanings:
* A resort providing therapeutic baths.
* A resort area having mineral springs.
* A fashionable hotel or resort.
* A health spa.
* A tub for relaxation

Umm...none of these describe the spas that we see all over Manila malls. The spas here are actually massage centers offering different kinds of "therapeutic" massages. These spas offer Swedish, Aromatherapy, Shiatsu, Thai, Reflexology and others. The masseuse would likely ask you "mam, hard po ba?" ( hard massage?) to which one would likely answer "okay but take it easy". A massage is from 30 minutes to an hour and 30 minutes. Price range is from 250 Php to 1,500 Php.

The ambience, class, masseuse (skills and looks?), and services of the spa dictates the price. It is quite a drain on the pocket to have a weekly spa massage. Last year my kids gave me a spa day certificate for my birthday. It was at an expensive spa in Alabang. I was entitled to a full body massage (solo, no other client in the room), feet and hands thingy, and a face scrub thingy. Wow! Special treat for a birthday girl. I asked the receptionist how much my package cost. She said 3,800 Php. I almost fainted!

Anyway if there is a rapid growth of spas, there is also an increase of "schools" teaching the intricacies of the different types of massages. My girls have a regular masseuse who claims mastery in the art of reflexology. She comes once a week, is quite good and her hard massage is really hard. She charges 350 Php for a one hour and 30 minutes session but you have to provide the oil or lotion.

I am a miser. No way will I part with 350 Php when I could get one massage session for 150 Php. My mother told me that my old childhood friend Solit is now a "reflexologist" and charges only 150 Php per hour. Being tight-wad and feeling magnanimous for contributing to Solit's income, I set an appointment.

Ouch! Ouch! I thought to myself as Solit kneads my thigh muscle liking it to pan de sal dough.

Solit looked up and gravely said: Something is wrong. Your knee.

Huh? What? I looked at my therapist's eyes thinking she really knows her stuff because she was referring to the knee that I injured in tennis.

Your skull, Solit said as she continues to feel my knee.

My skull?

Yes, it has moved into your knee.

That ended my quest for cheap massages.